Millie's First Birthday

On July 20, 2013 Millie turned one years old.  (I know really behind) We had her party at my parents house.  Our theme was pink and green.  I had a blast getting things together.  I will not go as lavish again for a few years at least {maybe age 5}.  

Here is a recap. 

Millie, 

My dearest darling,  I love you more than words can say.  It is such a pleasure to be your Mother, you are such a sweet, kind hearted, loving little girl.  You are so affectionate, you are always giving me hugs and kisses.  You are not walking as of your birthday but are getting very close.  You love to say baby, Momma, cic-it (the dog..Cricket) you love macaroni and cheese, fruits of any kind, you have been exclusively on Mommy's milk and we are in the process of weening.  {we finished weening close to 13 months} to laugh, you are very very ticklish.  You love playing with your cousins.  

Millie's First Valentines Day

Millie had her very first Valentine's Day and it was wonderful.  She didn't do too bad for a 6 1/2 month old.

We started the day out with a sweet hug and kiss and some bouncy time in the jumper, she loves to keep those legs moving.  

We ended the day with dinner with my Grandmother, Millie's great-grandmother.  It was a fabulous time and like always, Millie was the hit.  You my dear are one spoiled, and very very very loved little girl; everywhere we go everyone says what a doll you are and what a happy baby you are.  You're always flirting and talking to everyone and like normal you're too happy, except when Mommy is not within eyesight and then it's bad, you like to be able to see me at all times.  ( I love this though) 

Here are a few pics of Millie's outfit and her goodies. 

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I'm loving that Giuliana and Bill Rancic are having a baby... I love their show and how real they've been through the whole process of trying to have a baby.

I'm loving that all things Millie related are starting to fall into place, I can't believe that my precious girl is due in 93 days (13 weeks, 2 days).  I can't believe how fast it seems to be going, I love feeling her sweet kicks, although my dear daughter could slow them down between 2-4 a.m.  ;)

The greatest thing I know is that I am making the absolute best decisions for me and Millie regardless of what anyone else might think!!  Knowing that and that everything I've been through and continue to go through is to fight for what is best for her gives me such a peace at mind.  Through the good and the bad, this girl has changed my life and I haven't even met her yet!!!  I'm so protective of her and she's not even here yet.  I love the sweet comments some people have made and sweet friends who've shown love and support and even though there is a handful of people who still wanted to be negative, say hurtful things, etc. I know that for me and Millie my choices and decisions are best regardless of how anyone else feels about me having her or about her father's absence. 

I've learned this week, I can only account for me and when she ask about her Father one day, I'm going to be totally honest and real and say that your Daddy choose to leave and not stay.  It hurts like hell that he walked away from us after I refused to have an abortion, but I know without a doubt I made the absolute right decision.  She's my angel and though I long for him to love her, she'll be just fine without his presence.

Happy Wednesday!!

My Two Cents, For What it's Worth

Okay ladies, I'm going to be blunt and honest and if I offend or you don't agree or like it, I apologize, but this is my opinion.

I loath racist people, seriously how can we (who are) call ourselves Christian yet judge so strongly someone just based on their skin color?

Yes, it's different in other parts of the country and world, but I live, was born and raised, and probably always will be in the South. Heck, let's talk facebook for a minute, I have never put a picture of me and my love on facebook for two reasons, 1. I like to keep it private, yes i blog about him, but seriously not nearly as many people read this blog, come on. 2. I like to keep somethings for myself.

But seriously, I was thinking on my 6+ hr drive home from seeing him last night, WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK. I am SOOOOO TIRED OF LIVING MY LIFE FOR OTHER PEOPLES APPROVAL. Tis why I stayed for 5 years with a man who called me whore, stupid, retard, hit me, put a gun to my head, chocked me, held me down against my will, told me his family would never speak to me again if they knew I'd dated a person outside of my racist.

When I started dating my ex, people were so happy, my Mom, my Dad, people at church, my Mom's friends, why, because he was the first white guy I'd ever dated since after high school.

Please tell me why that matters, if that's what your question is....then you must not live in the racisit South. I have lost friends and everything, been talked about, been called names all because i've dated someone who was not white.......but here's a really funny thing.....I'm not 100% white either....my Grandfather is 100% Filipino, couldn't tell by looking at me, right? Who cares it's still my bloodline and I'm proud of who I am.

What I don't get the most is how people call themselves a Christian, sit in church every Sunday and listen to the word, yet, judge people based on the color of their skin. There is probably someone reading this who is thinking, gross, b/c I've dated outside my race or judging me, but may or may not admit it. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE !!!!

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 YEARS, I am with someone who does NOT hit, call me retarded, stupid, whore, worthless and I love him for him, not the color of his skin and if you can't be my friend and accept that and still talk, associate, or be friendly to me well than that's your loss and I'd hate to have to answer to God, who people forget made us ALL!!!

Thank you and Happy Monday Ladies!!

Broken

I found out today that the man I love, the man that I thought I'd marry and spend forever with is dying. While trying to protect me he wants me to not be involved and move on. Easier said then done. My heart is breaking for him and for me and his children as well. I love him with all my heart and would trade places in a heartbeat with him. I pray that he knows the Lord and that I will see him again one day in heaven.

Please pray for him, his children, and me as well.

WILW

I'm loving that yesterday I treated myself to a pedicure (this is my guilty pleasure that I have not been able to do in quite a while).

I'm loving these nail polishes that I picked up at Target yesterday (the pink is the one I got them to put onto my toes at the salon). I love taking my own polish to the salon.

I'm loving that I've received two $10 off $40 at Rack Room this week in the mail. This is a sign right, I must buy some more sandals, right?

I'm loving that my boyfriend can say the sweetest things to encourage and cheer me up when I am down. Such a sweetheart.

I'm loving my new Vera Bradley wallet I bought the other day when I went birthday shopping with my mom.

I'm loving that I am planning on taken my nephews to see The Smurf's, I loved the smurf's growing up and I hope they'll enjoy the movie.

I'm loving that I will be having another nephew come November. Yay for nephews, so much fun!! My Dad is hoping I have a girl to help this brewed out one day. (me too, I love me some girls and girly stuff).

I'm loving that I may or may not have gone to Target twice yesterday and may or may not plan to go to a different Target today or tomorrow.

I'm loving my new blog makeover. Thanks Jenn.

So what are you loving? Visit Jamie here and tell us.

Boob Tube Babble

First off today I am going to start with Big Brother, did anyone watch it last night? This is one of my favorite summer obessions shows to watch in the summer. I have watched every single season and every episode, yes maybe that's pathetic but I don't care. Wow, what a twist, they bring back Evil Dick and his daughter, whom still seems to not like him very much.

And then there is there is the child murder, whom got away with murder, and most likely will end up with movie deals, book deals, tell alls, etc. It just makes me sick to think that this girl

Could want to party and miss her easier days, where she wasn't responsible for a precious gift from God that she could kill this innocent baby and get away with it. You know what that really tells us? Are system doesn't always work and you can have so much evidence but still get away with murder.

Well I don't know about your beliefs and we can agree to disagree on any or all of this, it doesn't matter to me, I don't push my opinions down the throat of others, but my belief is God will get her and I sure am glad I am not going to be her on judgment day b/c I'd hate to answer for killing a precious gift from God.

So what did you watach this week? I had a confessions post this morning too, I am in such a wonderful Friday mood, I get to go see my guy tonight and can't wait!!! It's been 2 weeks since I've seen him and I miss him terribly!!

Go visit Neely and Meg here or here and link up. Have a great Friday and weekend!!

Confessions and Facts

So, I have had several things weighing on my mind lately and so therefore, I am just clearing my mind. I'm sorry if anyone does not agree with or is offended in anyway that I did this post. There is no means to the way I list or post my thoughts that have been heavily weighing on me lately. So with that said, here I go.

• I have had a hard family life and I am now at the point where I really don't care if I have a close or good relationship with my mother and sisters anymore, I can't spend the rest of my lift worrying about this.





• My mother and I have just now started to be able to stand being in the same room without uttering hateful remarks about each other under our breath.



• I have been called ugly names by my mother and I have lived for almost 29 years with the fact that my mother is ashamed of some of the things that make me me.



• I have dated several guys who have either physically or emotionally abused me.



• My ex was a raging alcoholic and I literally was in fear of my life at times and that has in some ways scarred who I am and how I see and think about men and alcohol too.



• I have a fist mark/cracked/dent in my wall on my stair case from my ex punch it while trying to pin me down on the stairs in a drunken rage.



• I hate the person I was for the past few years and what I allowed someone to do to me and how I allowed him to make me feel like I wasn't good enough or didn't deserve better than that.




• 
  
  I went to Al-Anon meeting trying to figure out a way to save a relationship with the man I thought I loved and it just showed me that I needed to run like hell.



• I hate dislike racist people and believe that God created us all in his image and that no one is better than another.



• I am in love and want everyone to now it and I don't care one bit if I loose friends, upset, disappoint, or if my relationship is unapproved of by others, including but not limited to family members. And with that being said.........

I have met the man of my dreams and he is not necessarily the first pick by many for me. He is a tad bit older than me, he has kids, he has a grandchild, but he loves me, supports who I want to be, encourages me, makes me want to be a better person, he is my heart, he is my strength. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am 100% head-over-heels in love and happy!! I met him a couple a months ago and was totally blind-sided by meeting him. I had no clue that I would meet and fall in love with someone I met that night when I went out for the first time to just let loose and have a good time in almost 8 months.

I am happier after being with him for 5 months, then I was with being with my ex for 4 1/2 years. I am so blessed by knowing, loving, and having him love me. He is my heart and the absolute best thing that has EVER happened to me. This relationship is moving rather fast and while some don't think that we've known each other long enough, we don't really care we are doing what we think is best and what we think we want for our future. He is my heart and I could not picture my life without him in it. (and no, I am not getting married)

**And that is all I am telling you for now. There's a lot more to the story and a lot more that I'd love to share, but family has to know everything first. I just couldn't wait and hold it in any longer. I have never openly talked about him really on the blog and I have never facebooked a picture of us b/c I didn't want nosey some people to know that I was seeing anyone.