So much to do, So little time

Man, the pending birth of my daughter is coming up fast. I can't believe she'll be here in roughly 19 weeks!!! I had someone ask me Monday if I was pregnant, yeah, it's getting pretty obvious. lol

The worst thing EVER though since being pregnant, besides the awful morning sickness that lasted so long is people talking to you and putting their had on your belly. Like really? Please don't touch....I'm a closed off person anyways and I have to have my "box" personal space, I hate shaking peoples hands, etc. Yes, my name is Meredith and I am a sever germ a-fob. I can't even fathom after Millie gets here and people wanting to touch or hold her, it's going to be hard b/c I don't want to be rude, but then again I don't want you really touching my baby either.

My mind is racing with so many things that I need to do from: refinishing her crib, to getting all her things together and in order, I have so many clothes but yet have not made an attempt to organize them in the closet yet, it's so overwhelming. I can't wait to do so, but I'm so tired when I get off work sometimes I just go walk, eat and then a little tv before I'm passed out (usually around 9 p.m.) Can we say old!!! hahaha

I'm trying to be patient with her Father, but he wears me thin when he acts like a kid himself, I can't handle two babies!!! Everytime I think he's making progress, he lets me down. It's not so much for me I care, but for her, she's my world and she deserves you 1. either being the BEST Father you can be or 2. You taking a hike!! We'll see as it plays out, don't get me wrong, I love her Father, probably always well in some way b/c he gave me her, but really, I can't handle two kids!!!

Let's get a little soap box here shall we. I can't STAND people who call themselves Christians, read my blog or hear I'm pregnant and when clear as day I stated on my blog please do NOT mention this to people that may know me out there..... you feel the need to go ahead and tell people, how does that make you a better person than me!!! Really!!!! And no I never confronted this person just can't believe you're suppose to be this Godly woman and you clearly didn't respect my request for NOT telling people outside of this blog. Ugh, hurts my feelings really BAD!!!

I'm really really really trying not to give a hoot about others opinions, but it still hurts; especially when you claim to be such a "Godly woman" isn't that gossip? What's the bible say about that, did you forget???

Any who, that's enough soapbox for one day!!

Happy Thursday Ladies!!

My Two Cents, For What it's Worth

Okay ladies, I'm going to be blunt and honest and if I offend or you don't agree or like it, I apologize, but this is my opinion.

I loath racist people, seriously how can we (who are) call ourselves Christian yet judge so strongly someone just based on their skin color?

Yes, it's different in other parts of the country and world, but I live, was born and raised, and probably always will be in the South. Heck, let's talk facebook for a minute, I have never put a picture of me and my love on facebook for two reasons, 1. I like to keep it private, yes i blog about him, but seriously not nearly as many people read this blog, come on. 2. I like to keep somethings for myself.

But seriously, I was thinking on my 6+ hr drive home from seeing him last night, WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK. I am SOOOOO TIRED OF LIVING MY LIFE FOR OTHER PEOPLES APPROVAL. Tis why I stayed for 5 years with a man who called me whore, stupid, retard, hit me, put a gun to my head, chocked me, held me down against my will, told me his family would never speak to me again if they knew I'd dated a person outside of my racist.

When I started dating my ex, people were so happy, my Mom, my Dad, people at church, my Mom's friends, why, because he was the first white guy I'd ever dated since after high school.

Please tell me why that matters, if that's what your question is....then you must not live in the racisit South. I have lost friends and everything, been talked about, been called names all because i've dated someone who was not white.......but here's a really funny thing.....I'm not 100% white either....my Grandfather is 100% Filipino, couldn't tell by looking at me, right? Who cares it's still my bloodline and I'm proud of who I am.

What I don't get the most is how people call themselves a Christian, sit in church every Sunday and listen to the word, yet, judge people based on the color of their skin. There is probably someone reading this who is thinking, gross, b/c I've dated outside my race or judging me, but may or may not admit it. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE !!!!

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 YEARS, I am with someone who does NOT hit, call me retarded, stupid, whore, worthless and I love him for him, not the color of his skin and if you can't be my friend and accept that and still talk, associate, or be friendly to me well than that's your loss and I'd hate to have to answer to God, who people forget made us ALL!!!

Thank you and Happy Monday Ladies!!