Last Pregnant Picture and Birth Story

Wow, I can't believe my precious baby girl is 10 days old.  It's been the best ten days of my life. Before we go on with the hospital and her birth, here is the last pregnancy shot I took right before we left for the hospital.  (sorry you get a bare belly shot, b/c that's all I took in the hurry to a last minute run to Target and then to the hospital.) 

Well, I had been going twice a week to be checked since being put on bed rest about a month ago all because my blood pressure was so high.  I went Monday, July 16, 2012, not much had changed, she was still up there and not moving down much.  They did some test and some more blood work b/c again, my blood pressure was high. I left figuring I'd go back for my appointment on Friday and then be at the hospital on Monday night, July 23rd for my induction.  Well, because I had protein in my urine and my blood pressure was so high I received a phone call personally from my doctor on Thursday, July 19th, saying that he was concerned about my blood pressure and wanted to go ahead and induce July 20th.  So I gathered my bags and headed to the hospital on Thursday night.  they gave me the pitocin Friday at midnight and we played the waiting game.  My contracts went to 2 min apart and I was 5 cm and I never felt a thing (mind you I refused drugs and was doing a natural birth)  well, the doctor came in to check me and Millie's head was becoming a bad cone-head and they said that I could be laboring for another 20 hours and she still not drop all the way b/c of the cone-head so they recommend a c-section.

I was again, planning an all natural childbirth so a c-section was not what I wanted.  But after talking to the doctor and family, I decided to move forward with the c-section b/c it was what was best for Millie.  at 4:07 p.m. on Friday, July 20, 2012 my precious baby girl was born weight 7 lb 9 oz.  She is such a blessing. 

Millie-

I am so greatful to be your Mom and to say the last 10 days have been the BEST days of my life is an understatement.  I love you baby girl more than life itself.  You are my angel.  

Love,

Mommy.

(will post tons of pics from the hospital tomorrow) 

She's here!!

My sweet girl is here. While I named her Millie, I'm officially think of changing her name to Paige in honor of her Fathers wishes. While others may not understand, I'm praying about it and doing what I feel is the best decision for myself and my daughter.

Please say a prayer for me and that I make the right decision for us.

I do have to say, I will post her birth story soon, but I was a little saddened by the fact that I ended up having. To have a c section, but she arrived safely, that's all that matters.

38 weeks

Wow, I can't believe I'm almost there. While its not been the easiest pregnancy, it's been worth ever minute. I'm so ready to meet my sweet angel. She is going to be one rotten little girl.

I'm so depressed with gaining so much weight no matter how much I count my calories the weight came one. The dr's not worried but I am. I want to be skinny again and I was getting close p my goal weight and size 8/10's before I got pregnant. Anyways, she is well worth it. Her father is still being a pain in my a$$, while I clearly still love the man he makes my life crazy and hell sometimes. I want him either in or out. He needs to make a choice once and for all.

How far along? 38 weeks, 1 day, 14 to go

Size of my sweet angel girl? 19.75 inches, the size of leek; about 6.8 lbs

Maternity clothes? All

Weight gain? 40 something

Stretch marks? None PTL, I am so thankful Thai expensive oil and cream have worked

Gender? Sweet baby girl

Sleep? Not good cant get comfy, then can't get up without hurting

Symptoms? Nauseated and tired, really swollen and my blood pressure has been high, so I'm on bed rest till she gets her.

What I miss most? Skinny and not feeling fat and 2 piece bathing suits. Yes it's vain I know.

Belly Button? Outie

BEST news this week? That I'm being induced on the 24th if she doesn't come by then. I originally was told this morning the 23rd, but got a call from dr's office this afternoon saying they were doing it on the 24th, to be at the hospital at 6 on the 23rd. (which is fine with me, bc I have an even vs odd number issue(don't ask).

Can't wait to meet my sweet Millie. She is the light of my life and she's not even here yet.

Dr's Appt

I went this past Friday my doctors appt and my blood pressure was high so he was worried, so he told me to come back this past Tuesday. Well, it's still a lot higher than its ever been for me sine becoming pregnant and working 9-10 hr non-stop busy days is not helping, so for now at least he's taken me off work. My cervix is softening and if my blood pressure remains high he make induce after this Friday. (the hit of 37 weeks).

I want her to come when she's good and "fully cooked" healthy, but I am so anxious to meet her. Her dads been calling a lot and while he still wants to name her Paige, her name will remain Millie. I may add Paige into her name, but I will continue to call her Millie.

I'm praying that my doctors appointment Friday morning goes well and that he comes soon but when she's ready.

Per doctor I'm to rest, rest, rest. It's hard for an OCD, perfectionist to stop and slow down, but I'm trying. My Dad actual came and spent the day today helping me carry boxes, pack both mine and Millie's hospital bags. Thanks so much Dad for coming and rescuing me.

Most everything's ready, need to make one trip to Target bc silly me forgot to get (on my last minute needs trip to Target) today, so sleepers.

I have SOOOO many clothes for my sweet angel but only 1 sleeper and no footed pjs. How in the world did I do that?

Oh well, Happy Independence Day. God Bless the USA and all the solders who fight for the freedom we love!

Last, here's a picture from my shower which I'll try and post about soon

36 Weeks

Sorry, Millie I missed a few weeks, but Momma does have pictures of your bump from those weeks.  ;)

First off, please pray for me.  I'm having some troubles with my body and pregnancy this week.  The doctor is concerned about my blood pressure, I went Friday, he is having me go back Tuesday and then if it's still high I may have to go on bed rest, which may not be a bad thing, except I need to work for the $$, but Millie's more important.  

I had a wonderful baby shower last week, hopefully I'll get around to downloading the pictures and posting about sometime this week.  


Here is week 36 bump date. 

How Far Along? 36 weeks, 2 day!!  27 days to go!!

Size of my Angel? 18.75 inches - size of crenshaw melon, 5.75 lbs. 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  About 42, so depressing

Stretch Marks? Still no PTL, I do have that Linea Nigra line, but other than that I haven't seen any stretch marks and I'm still lathering the oil and cream morning and night.  

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep?  Not getting much at all, between 50-60 hour work weeks, my body is aching but giving me problems going to sleep. 

Food Cravings? milk 

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes and feel comfortable and not being so tired. 

Symptoms? None right now, the braxton hicks have stopped, but my cervix is starting to dilate.

Belly Button? It's definitely an outie now. 

  

What did I do wrong?

This is the question that I keep asking myself, were did I go wrong with her Father.  Yes, he is a jerk, I knew that before I was pregnant.  Yes, he is selfish, but for him to do to me the things he is right now is beyond selfish and is heartless.

I spent 3+ hours yesterday morning, yes I said 3+ (2:45ish-6:00 ish AM) am hours nonetheless arguing back -n-forth with him over everything, her name, what a b**** I am, how much he hates me, how I should be happy that he is not here and that he is in Georgia b/c and I quote "If I saw your a$$ right now, I'd kill you"  yep, my daughter's father threatened to kill me.  7 weeks before she's due.  Great taste in men, huh?  Needless to say, I was a basket case, yelled back, cried for many hours and now I'm freaking out worried something is going to be wrong with her.  I know she technically can not get something or be deformed from this, but it could cause preterm labor, stress (well, I'm way pass that).  

Please just pray for me right now and that I did not cause any harm to my precious baby girl, I couldn't imagine hurting her.  She's my entire world and everything that I've tried to do has been for her.  Every time I've tried to work things out with her Father, it's not for me, it's for her.  But some men you can't reason with. 

33 Weeks

How Far Along? 33 weeks, 1 day!!  49 days to go!!

Size of my Angel? 17 inches - size of pineapple , 4.25 lbs. 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Still refuse to weigh but it's like getting close to 40 I think, which I don't get because I'm sticking to 1800 cal diet that the dr told me too. ugh

Stretch Marks? No PTL, I do have that Linea Nigra line, but other than that I haven't seen any stretch marks and I'm still lathering the oil and cream morning and night.  

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep?  What's that?? 

Food Cravings? ice cream (which I wont allow myself to eat), milk 

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes and feel comfortable and not being so tired. 

Symptoms? Still random braxton hicks, but not everyday

Belly Button? Poking out but not too bad, hopefully it will go back in once she gets here.  

33 weeks, 1 day

I'm working on her crib, bedding and her name to go on the wall behind her crib.  Here is what I have so far.  It's still a work in progress, guess with 7 weeks to go I better get real busy.  All her clothes are washed and organized that's a start.  :)

Millie's closet (this is the 0-3 to 3-6 months) the other sizes up to 24 months are on the other side. 

Happy Friday!! 

32 Weeks!!

How Far Along? 32 weeks, 4 day!!  53 days to go!!

Size of my Angel? 16.7 inches - size of large jicama (I had to google what this is, it's a mexican yam) , 3.75 lbs. 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Still refuse to weigh but it's like 25-40 lbs I think, ugh. Which is really depressing me!!!  

Stretch Marks? No PTL, I do have that Linea Nigra line, but other than that I haven't seen any stretch marks and I'm still lathering the oil and cream morning and night.  

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep?  I've given up on a good nights sleep for many months to come. haha   

Food Cravings? fruit, ice cream, anything really really cold

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes and feel comfortable and not being so tired. 

Symptoms? I've been having some braxton hicks contractions, they're crazy random. 

Belly Button? Poking out but not too bad, hopefully it will go back in once she gets here.  

32 weeks, 1 day

31 Weeks!!!

How Far Along? 31 weeks, 1 day!!  63 days to go!!

Size of my Angel? 16.25 inches - size of four navel oranges, 3.3 lbs. 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Still refuse to weigh but it's like 34-35 lbs I think, ugh. 

Stretch Marks? No PTL, I do have that Linea Nigra line, but other than that I haven't seen any stretch marks and I'm still lathering the oil and cream morning and night.  

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell.....Her dad has tried to make an appearance in the picture and wants to change her name to Paige, the only thing I can think of is maybe add it in with Millie and be Millie Paige b/c she has to have Ladell, because it's family and it's been passed down for so long.  I love Millie, already have things monogrammed with Millie so I don't wan to give it up either.  If he sticks around through the last 9 weeks we'll see.  But I'm not sure he will! 

Sleep?  I've given up on a good nights sleep for many months to come. haha   

Food Cravings? mexican, mexican

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes and feel comfortable and not being so tired. 

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Poking out but not too bad, hopefully it will go back in once she gets here.  

Her Dad's been giving me all sorts of hell, so honestly, I don't know where we stand.  He asked me "what if we got married??"  I got quiet, I don't know about it honestly, I want to be married, but not with things the way they are, it wouldn't be good for any of us.  

Happy Memorial Day weekend Ladies!!

31 weeks, 1 day.....63 to go!!

Disclaimer: please excuse the no make-up I was in the process of getting ready.  haha

30 Weeks!!

How Far Along? 30 weeks, 1 day!!  70 days to go!!

Size of my Angel? 15.7 inches - size of a head of cabbage, 2.75 lbs. 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Still refuse to weigh but it's like 34-35 lbs I think, ugh. 

Stretch Marks? No PTL, I do have that Linea Nigra line, but other than that I haven't seen any stretch marks and I'm still lathering the oil and cream morning and night.  

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep? I still haven't tried Tylenol pm but I may need to really start soon, the tossing and turning is killing me.  I hate the back pains, but they shall pass.   

Food Cravings? bread, sour candy

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes and feel comfortable and not being so tired. 

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Poking out but not too bad, hopefully it will go back in once she gets here.  

It's been a crazy last few days, her Dad and I spent 3 1/2 hours arguing last night on the phone, 1. he hates her name - I told him, fine tell me some names you like and we'll find another name.  

2. he told me I should give her to him if I want him in her life and he'll be the full-time parent- OVER MY DEAD BODY was the response.

3. It just didn't go well, he's so selfish and really neither Millie nor I need that right now.

I feel like I'm on the home stretch, had my dr appointment this morning, we're both doing great, her heartbeat is great and we're both healthy, that's all that matters.

I am so beyond ready and excited for her, my Dad should be done finishing her crib this weekend and I'll be putting it together Memorial Day weekend.  So can't wait for my sweet baby girl to get here!!

30 weeks, Day 1

28 & 29 Weeks Baby Bump & Birthing Plan

How Far Along? 29 Weeks, 4 days!  

Size of my Angel? 28 weeks - 14.8 in - size of Chinese cabbage, 2.25 lbs 

                             29 weeks - 15.25 in - size of butternut squash, 2.5 lbs

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  I gained 4 lbs since my last appointment 4 weeks ago, but dr said that's normal.  I am obsessed with calorie counting still and I'm trying to remember I have to eat those 1800 cals for her.  But I'm ready to diet asap after she gets here.  I hope I can find something that works well with breastfeeding b/c I want to bf and I want to still get the weight off asap. 

Stretch Marks? No PTL, I do have that Linea Nigra line, but other than that I haven't seen any stretch marks and I'm still lathering the oil and cream morning and night.  

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep? I still haven't tried Tylenol pm but I may need to really start soon, the tossing and turning is killing me.  I hate the back pains, but they shall pass.   

Food Cravings? not much right now except I am trying not to eat too much sugar.

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes and feel comfortable and not being so tired. 

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Poking out but not too bad, hopefully it will go back in once she gets here.  

I am so ready for Millie to make her debut, I can't believe how much you can love someone that you've never met.  I am beyond ecstatic and ready for her birth. 

I am currently on my last week of birthing classes and they've been interesting.  I don't know if I've mentioned it but my birthing plan is to go natural the entire way.  This is something very personal to me and while a lot of people seem to think I'm crazy, as one lady said at the birthing classes.  This is a decision I made early on into my pregnancy and one that I really plan on trying to stick with.  I love the idea of being "free" not tied down to the bed, pump, etc.  Being able to jump in the warm shower to ease labor pains as needed and being about to walk around.  Yes, I do sound crazy to some, but this is a real personal choice for me and if it's too much to bare then I already know what I must do and how far along is too far to change my mind.  I personally don't see me changing my mind, but we shall see. 

Happy Monday Ladies!! 

27 Weeks!!

How Far Along? 27 weeks, 1 days....91 to go!  

Size of my Angel? 14.5 in.....the size of cauliflower and about 2 lbs 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Doc still says I'm doing good 

Stretch Marks? No PTL, still lathering the oil and cream on 2 x daily 

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep? Still not sleeping well, also been sick this week so that's not helping either.  Doctor did say I can take Tylenol PM so I'm going to try that.   

Food Cravings? Mexican, Chick-fil-a diet lemonade

What I Miss Most? Wearing my own clothes that I feel okay in, I wasn't back to my 8/10's when I got pregnant but I was within 10 lbs, so this is depressing.  

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Poking out more and more daily.  I'm so ready for her to be here already and when people say I really am not, I really want to be ugly and say don't tell me what I am and am not ready for.  I know there will be sleepless nights, but that doesn't concern me too much.  That's just part of the process and I already don't sleep well so it's perfect. haha

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I'm loving that Giuliana and Bill Rancic are having a baby... I love their show and how real they've been through the whole process of trying to have a baby.

I'm loving that all things Millie related are starting to fall into place, I can't believe that my precious girl is due in 93 days (13 weeks, 2 days).  I can't believe how fast it seems to be going, I love feeling her sweet kicks, although my dear daughter could slow them down between 2-4 a.m.  ;)

The greatest thing I know is that I am making the absolute best decisions for me and Millie regardless of what anyone else might think!!  Knowing that and that everything I've been through and continue to go through is to fight for what is best for her gives me such a peace at mind.  Through the good and the bad, this girl has changed my life and I haven't even met her yet!!!  I'm so protective of her and she's not even here yet.  I love the sweet comments some people have made and sweet friends who've shown love and support and even though there is a handful of people who still wanted to be negative, say hurtful things, etc. I know that for me and Millie my choices and decisions are best regardless of how anyone else feels about me having her or about her father's absence. 

I've learned this week, I can only account for me and when she ask about her Father one day, I'm going to be totally honest and real and say that your Daddy choose to leave and not stay.  It hurts like hell that he walked away from us after I refused to have an abortion, but I know without a doubt I made the absolute right decision.  She's my angel and though I long for him to love her, she'll be just fine without his presence.

Happy Wednesday!!

26 Weeks!!!

How Far Along? 26 weeks, 1 days....98 to go!  --YES ladies, we're in the double digits now :)

Size of my Angel? 14 in.....the size of a hothouse cucumber and about 1.75 lbs 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Doing good per doc, I still refuse to look at the scale! ha

Stretch Marks? No PTL, still lathering the oil and cream on 2 x daily (someday's just at night, but most days I do morning and night)

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep? Nothing better than her sweet kicks, but waking up at 2 am every night is weird.  I'm use to not sleeping good before I was pregnant, but it's weird that it always seems to be about the same time I wake up every night now, since I've been pregnant.  

Food Cravings? Still tons of salads, spicy ranch and Mexican.... I could live on Swanky's taco salads everyday if I let myself. 

What I Miss Most? Actually, I haven't missed much this week except for the non cramps, I hate the feeling of the cramps, they're just like period cramps but I've been told it's my uterus stretching but it's been happening for days now. 

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Barely in, if I breath and  my stomach expands my belly button starts going out.  

26 weeks, 1 day....98 to GO!!

I am so excited about the future and about my precious Millie girl, I've come to peace with the circumstances surrounding us and her Father's lack of responsibilities and concern when it comes to her. While I can't say I've totally given it to God, I'm working on it.  Like I told him, you'll have to answer to why you abandoned her not me all I can do his love her and do the best I can for her.  She's my world and I couldn't imagine my life without her.  I'm so blessed Millie to be your Mom and I can't wait to meet you my little angel.  

On a sweet moment, my almost 3 year old nephew likes to talk to her, lift my shirt up and show people "there's Millie"  so embarrassing, but he's done this twice no in public, but it's cute too.  It's sweet when he tells me "I want to give Millie a kiss" then I lay on the couch, he comes up lifts my shirt to show my belly and kisses her.  It's the most precious moment and it melts my heart.

Happy Friday Ladies!! 

25 Weeks, 15 to GO!!!! and Breastfeeding Question

How Far Along? 25 weeks, 1 days....105 to go!

Size of my Angel? 13.5 in.....the size of a rutabaga and about 1.5 lbs 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Doing good per doc, I refuse to look at the scale! ha

Stretch Marks? No PTL, still lathering the oil and cream on 2 x daily (someday's just at night, but most days I do morning and night)

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep? Still waking up during the night, but I love it when she's active and kicking, such as sweet feeling.  BUT, I'd like her to practice her soccer plays during the day and not at night so much.  A girl can wish  

Food Cravings? Salads, spicy ranch dressing, Mexican 

What I Miss Most? the same-being able to sleep and not feeling fat and I know this sounds bad probably, but it's true... I miss margaritas, Mexican food just isn't the same without them. 

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Still in but if I raise my shirt and look at my stomach and watch as I breath, it looks like it's going to pop out. 

Best Moment of the Week? Working with my Dad to restore her crib and restain it.     

**Still sick of the crazy rude people who have things to say like WOW you're having a baby... like back up, b/c I am just as capable of having and raising a wonderful girl REGARDLESS of whether her father chooses to be involved or not.  and if you disagree than your an idiot.  You don't have to have the DAD to make a stable health child, it's his choice and he's an ass end of story.

Millie: 25 Weeks, 1 Day

So I am planning on breastfeeding, I got the Medela pump but I've read in the book you should exclusively breastfeed for six weeks and not bottle feed.  Did anyone do this or did you do some bottles mixed in during that first six weeks...Any advise on this or what's worked for you would be greatly appreciated.  

Happy Friday!! 

24 Weeks!!!

How Far Along? 24 weeks, 6 days....107 to go!

Size of my Angel? 12.5 in.....the size of corn and about 1.25 lbs 

Maternity Clothes? All

Weight Gain?  Still doing good so they say, I still think it's a crazy number!!

Stretch Marks? None thank you Lord, still lathering oil and cream once or twice a day...Praying that they'll stay away

Gender? Sweet baby GIRL.... Millie Ladell

Sleep?  I have a feeling I wont sleep good till after she's here.  She likes to keep me up or wake me up in the middle of the night kicking, she's preparing me for her arrival.  

Food Cravings? Diet coke---trying to stay away from it but I did have a caffeine free one yesterday and it was SOOOO good!!   

What I Miss Most? the same-being able to sleep and not feeling fat

Symptoms? None 

Belly Button? Still in but looks like it will pop one day. 

Best Moment of the Week? Finally putting it totally out there... One response from someone on facebook...."I figured something was up b/c your so obsessed with your weight and I didn't think you'd 'let yourself go'  hahaha too funny".   

**Still sick of the crazy rude people who have things to say like WOW you're having a baby... like back up, b/c I am just as capable of having and raising a wonderful girl REGARDLESS of whether her father chooses to be involved or not.  and if you disagree than your an idiot.  You don't have to have the DAD to make a stable health child, it's his choice and he's an ass end of story.

24 weeks, 6 days!!!