Set Backs & Thoughts - Running Style

I still don't consider myself a "runner", that seems crazy to me.  After I cross that first half finish line, then I'll feel like I've earned that title.  I started running using Couch to 5k, last March.  While I've come a long way I'm not where I want to be.  Running is my "get my mind right" time.  It where I can just be free, it's me and pavement and it's where I can jam out to music, I can think out my to-do list, plan Millie's outfit and activities (yes I really think about that on my run).  It's just time to hear myself think, reflect, talk to God, tell him my fears, desires, needs, wants all of it.  But when you're in pain while running it's hard not to focus on that every step and that's where I am right now.  Yesterday I woke up having so sharp pain in my right leg, hip flexor all the way down to my knee.  I tried to take it easy, I didn't do my T25 workout and just was resting up for today's 11 miles.  Let's take it back where the problems started.  I fell a few weeks back on a training run, I twisted my ankle and while I thought it healed, it seems to have led to other problems. The PT I've been talking to through Fleet Feet has been awesome, she advise that it was probably there but that I didn't feel it for the pain in my ankle was worse.  The pain in my ankle went away and my hip flexor down to my knee started being progressively worse and to the pint where sitting hurt, standing hurt, walking hurt, running hurt.  I ignored it for as long as I could, it took a tole on my pace, going from my happy 9:30-9:45 to 10:30-11:00 pace. I wasn't happy about this.  I started reaching out to our training coach, Marcia and she advised I probably needed to slow it down and talk to the PT, Mary some more.  I met with her two weeks ago at a Fleet Feet training night where she came to check on us with injuries and problems. She had me do different things and pushed on my leg.  To say some of the things she did we're painful would be an inderstametemrn. It hurt like hell, just being honest.  I tried to tough it out, it'll get better, just keep going Meredith, no pain no gain. WRONG!!  I've made it 10 times worse.  Now I'm for sure going to PT, there's no way not too at this point and I may or may not be able to complete the Germantown half in TEO WEEKS!! To say I'm sad would just not do it justice. I'm pissed, I'm angry, I'm disgusted not with anyone else but myself.  I've put the time in and my body is not wanting to keep up with me. It's a hard fact to accept.  Will I get to do Germantown, honestly I'm hopefully but not sure. Nashville I think b/c it's still four weeks out I'll be okay, but I wanted Germantown!! I've ran most of the course (11 miles of it) so I know what to expect.  The question now remains can my body handle it.  We'll see, I'm praying it's not too late for the PT to work it's magic for this race.  

Just praying and knowing that I've given this 110% and I've done what I can the rest is up to my body to heal.  

Happy weekend!!

Last weeks long run.