Monday, March 21, 2011

Why do these things always happen?

You know that whole, "you meet someone when you're least expecting it"? Yep, story of my life. Let's go back about 6 wks now, maybe even 8 (not really sure, wasn't counting) anyways, I went out with one of my good friends Brad and Nancy, I met this wonderful guy who i wasn't really interested in talking to, because I really to be quite honest wasn't really interested in talking to anyone. Well, he has since swept me off my feet, spending every moment we could together, all weekend long and a few trips me up there and him here (he was about 45 min outside of here) well last Wednesday I get a text saying, "I really need to see you" I told him it was girls night so I would come down there or he could come here Thursday night and we'd talk. Well, lets just say I wasn't expecting that talk....I tell you, I expected something much worse, like he lied and was married or had a girlfriend, something along those lines as I always think negative it seems.

Well that wasn't the case, the case is, he travels for work and is always moving with a job, it could be 3 months here, 6 weeks there, a year here, just depends. Wow, that through me for a loop, I actually laughed and said, "that I can live with, I thought you were gonna say you were married or something" hahaha, (he didn't find it humorous) anyways, so now, we're doing the whole "long distance thing" well I really ticked him off with 50 million questions Saturday night and I know he was getting frustrated and yes, I tried to back-off, but it's hard when you have honestly fallen head of heels and you hear those words "I have to leave, but don't want too". It was honestly like a knife to my heart I literally can't begin to tell you how I felt looking at him not knowing when I'd see him again. So we had the dreaded, "do you wanna do the long-distance thing" conversation. I have to be honest, I've never done a long-distance relationship, but I can tell you this, getting to text him everyday and speak to him a few times a week and see him hopefully at least once a month is way better than thinking I'd never see him again.

I can't begin to tell you ladies how hard this is for me, because I'm not the kind to trust easy or fall hard very quickly. I've enjoyed the last almost year of being single and doing whatever it is that I want to do, but there's something about him that I totally love, the way he talks to me, the way he listens, the way he makes me feel like I am something important, well that all seemed great and scary to me. So Sunday afternoon before he left, I laid it all out there, the "whole kit and caboodle" type thing, totaled him exactly how i felt and lets just say, he told me how he felt earlier last week and then Saturday he told me something I just ignored (i'm sure you can figure that one out ladies) then yesterday I said it back to him, I gave myself the okay to feel this way for someone again and just went all heart in. I have never felt this way about someone in such a short time and I'm really hoping the distance doesn't destroy it, I'm scared to death but love the feeling I have when I see, talk, text, anything with him. He treats me amazing when we're together and I have to ask or do nothing, he just gets it and gives me the world when we're together. Hopefully, the silence in him yesterday evening and today isn't a bad sign, because he's hardly spoken since 5 yesterday evening, hopefully it's just because he is finally getting to spend time with his family again. But I seriously have a fear of scaring him off with my emotions, lets face it, ladies, we're emotional creatures and I think even through text messages that can come across. I am hoping that things haven't changed for him in less than 48 hours, especially after all he said to me Saturday night, but I hope that it's just that he's spending time with his family and trying not to make me so sad.

Please pray for me, this is a scary journey to me right now, but one that I am totally willing to take, I can't say enough about him, he was truly unexpected and he has really been wonderful to me. I just pray he hasn't changed his mind in the 24 hrs he's been home, surely it's just the stress and time he was with his family. Comments are definitely welcomed.


  1. I am so happy for you!! He sounds like a great guy. I am sure that he has not changed his mind. So many people do the long distance thing nowadays...the internet and cell phones make it a lot easier than it used to be. For the first 7 years we were together Dave traveled 4 days a week at the least. At times he would jet off to Hong Kong or Australia for 3 weeks at a time. But we made it work. We have been together for 9.5 years now and married for 4. Sometimes I miss the time to myself and I really miss the frequent flyer miles!!

  2. thanks Allyson, unfortunately I really upset him last night :( I've tried to text him about 8 times today no response, he's really upset with me but i'm praying we get through it. Email me and lets chat, I need some encouragement about it.