Broken

I found out today that the man I love, the man that I thought I'd marry and spend forever with is dying. While trying to protect me he wants me to not be involved and move on. Easier said then done. My heart is breaking for him and for me and his children as well. I love him with all my heart and would trade places in a heartbeat with him. I pray that he knows the Lord and that I will see him again one day in heaven.

Please pray for him, his children, and me as well.

Things that you never though could happen to you~~

All I can tell you guess right now is I have been hit with a terrible life changing bombshell with some ppl I know. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for them and me both and that everything turns out okay.

thank you

WHAT Went WRONG!!!

I went to visit my boyfriend last night, drove 5 & 1/2 hrs each way, had a fabulous time or so I thought. I said I love you, he said I love you; then today we woke-up things were fine, we did his laundry, he held me and we watched tv and then he gets a call from his Aunt; we go back to watching tv, nothing seemed wrong. He had to go to work; I thought I'd stay one more night he said he thought it was best that I go on home b/c of his roommate and not knowning what he really thought of me staying there last night so didn't wanna surprise him with another night. So I left, then I texted him a few times, he finally texts me back on his break at work and says" "I'm going through some things right now and i think it's best if we don't see each other" WTF, really? Last night you tell me you love me and today you tell me on my 5 1/2 hr drive home, through text you don't think it's best if we see each other anymore?>???

What happened? What went wrong?? There's got to be more to this??? I'm not giving up, these have been the BEST 5 months, the ones with him. There's got to be a reason and I honestly don't think it's someone else I really think he's having issues.

I did text him and ask what was wrong, was it me, did I do something, is everything okay, was/IS there someone else???? I turned off my phone and haven't heard an answer as of the time I turned it off. PLEASE PLEASE pray for me and him and that he responds. I CAN:T move on or know what is going on till he tells me. If he honestly said yes he met someone else, it would actually make it easier b/c I could hate him, but nothing just doesn't help. 5 1/2 months, always great and we work out our fights, I was so blindsided by this.

Honestly I feel something really is going on with him and i don't think it involves another woman, I think it's family related and I pray that he sees and misses me the way I already miss him and it's only been 2 hrs. I know we always talk and I just didn't see this coming. I jsut wanna die right now, honestly that's how I feel. I would have rather him said there was someone else so that I could hate him. But I really again, don't think that's it, but is it me? is it our issues? is it my insecurities? What is it? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray I get my answers and my heart isn't totally broken again. PLease I so love this man and we've always talked about a future, marriage, heck he even proposed (I think jokingly though) once before, we've discussed marriage, kids, planning our future, I was again so blindsided.

YES I am posting this as I have been crying my eyes out for the last 2 + hrs so please excuse the spelling mistakes.

Pray for me please, I'm dying right noiw and again, pray I get an answer

Just Another Monday!

Have you ever had the best intentions to do something and just never do? That was me part of the weekend. Yes, I've had a migraine for the past 2 1/2 days, and I'm talking full blown yesterday, throwing up, dizzy spells, can't stand up for long. It was awful, if I had decent insurance I would have gone tot he minor med for a shot, but no such luck right now.

So, this morning I had a job shadowing interview and I really really need a job because I really need to buy myself some clothes for fall because bills really do need to be paid. SO I am hoping and praying that I get the job. Please pray I do for me.

So back to the weekend. I went to dinner with my Dad and nephew Saturday night while my Mother was out of town. I picked up my nephew and he asked me to call Papa and see if he'd take him to dinner. I told him I'd call but he had to ask and he had to get me an invite too. So he did and the 3 of us had a great dinner at McAlister's. Then yesterday, I finished laundry, cleaned, vacuumed, threw up a few times, took nausea medicine, yes all b/c I had a killer 2 and a half days of a migraine. If you don't have migraines, count your blessings and thank God, I'd do anything not to get them and them not to be so bad. I take a daily bp medicine as a preventative and while it helps, it's not a cure-all.

I went to see Final Destination 3-D Friday since I was off work. Note to self: this is your one and ONLY 3-D movie. (a 3-D movie for someone who has such bad migraines is probably not a smart idea and I'll never do it again!!!)

Today is Monday and since I went to a job interview/shadowing this morning, I am taking it easy and getting my run in this afternoon so that I can be lazy and sit on my butt watch The Bachelor Pad without any distractions tonight. B/c let's face it, I have my priorities in line.

Happy Monday!!!

Boob Tube Babble

So, let's talk t.v.

1. Of course I watched BIg Brother, I have to say that I wish it had been Rachel who left the house this week and not Adam....She annoys the heck out of me. Then of course in BB style, there is a twist and Brendon comes back. Ugh another week of being annoyed by Brendon and Rachel. G-REAT!!! Aren't we all so excited?

2. I am excited about checking out a few of the upcoming Fall shows that are coming out. 2 Broke Girls looks like it's going to be funny. Then The Playboy Club, I'm curious to see what it's like. Of course the favorites....The Amazing Race, I'm ready for it to come back.

3. Then we have Army Wives, quite possible my favorite series of all time. (as an adult) I am obsessed Love this show, I own every season on dvd and will buy this seasons when it comes out a t.v. too. Do you watch it?

So what are you watching. Go link up with Neely and Ashley and tell us. Happy Friday!!

Me-Ology

Me-Ology

I'm cheating again with another copy/paste survey. I found the original survey here but I found it via here. (You may see a few more of these surveys coming up on my blog soon...I am in the process for applying for jobs).

FOOD-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice? 98% of the time it's Ranch, but if I go and get a grilled chicken salad from Chick-fil-A I usually get their Fat Free Honey Mustard

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Mexican...I love El Porton salsa and could just drink the stuff, not to mention having a margarita to go with it, what could be better?

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Mexican

What are your pizza toppings of choice? I only eat Cheese pizza

What do you like to put on your toast? Grape Jelly

TECHNOLOGY

How many televisions are in your house? 1..... I live in what would be considered like a studio apartment, but it's actually my parents detached garage

What color cell phone do you have? Black iPhone with a pink case

What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it? probably shouldn't say.....and my boyfriend....hahaha

Who was the last person to call you? my sister

BIOLOGY

Are you right-handed or left-handed? right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? yes, but I probably shouldn't share. hahaha

What is the last heavy item you lifted? boxes from my Dad's office....he's storage unit was broken into

RANDOM-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? yes!!

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? No

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Yes, I love hot and spicy things!

DUMB-OLOGY

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Like 25

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? When I totaled my car in the ice back in February.... I thought it was going to be yesterday on the way to MO for my bday, but he didn't come after me, he went after the Mercedes, glad he had a nicer car, or it may have been me. hahaha

Last person you talked to in person? My Mom and Dad before they left for church this morning

Favorite Month? August, my birthday month, of course

CURRENT-OLOGY

Missing someone? my boyfriend

Mood? pissy, I haven't heard from my boyfriend since yesterday afternoon and I thought he was coming to see me for my birthday :(

What are you listening to? Movie on Lifetime Movie Network

Watching? the movie on LMN, but I am reading blogs, so I am kinda listening and looking up when it gets good.

Worrying about? Why the heck my bf hasn't responded and being upset b/c I was really wanting to see him for my birthday weekend.

RANDOM-OLOGY

What's the last movie you watched? idk, does LMN movies count?

Do you smile often? Yes, but can't smile right now till I hear back from my bf, I need to see him so I can smile!!

Do you always answer the phone? If I know the number I do; if not, I let it go to voice mail and return the call if it's really for me.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? my boyfriend, who is still at work at 4 a.m.

If you could change your eye color, what would it be? Blue, I think blue eyes are pretty!!

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? None, but I love Sonic Grape Slushes

Do you own a digital camera? Yes, I do photography, so of course!

Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes, and the last one was named Killer b/c he came out of my Grandparents fish thing b/c he had eaten all the other fishes. lol

Favorite Christmas song? IDK, I can't think Christmas right now. hahaha

What's on your wish list for you birthday? Well, since my birthday is tomorrow, I would like my bf to be here and spend time with me and something sweet and thoughtful from him! (Already celebrated with my family yesterday and I picked out my present from my Mom and my Dad bought me clothes I picked out.)

Can you do push-ups? Yes, but very few without starting to do the "girly" ones.

Can you do a chin up? Um NO!!! I have a bar and try, but I always have to use the chair when I'm doing P90x.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? BOTH!! Life has been tough the last few years, but I hope it gets better!!! It's been better lately but I'm sad right now b/c my bf isn't here and I thought he was coming. :(

Do you have any saved texts? My phone saves them all...but none that I have "locked"

Ever been in a car wreck? Yes, unfortunately several and the last one was in the ice and my car was totaled. :(

Do you have an accent? Southern

What is the last song to make you cry? I have no idea!!

Plans tonight? Watch tv and hopefully see my bf and spend time with him. I hope he comes in town today!

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes, going through a very bad breakup and everything that went on it was hell, but I am so glad I finally left!!!

Name 2 things you bought yesterday. bras, lol, and work paints

Have you ever been given roses? Yes!

Current hate right now? That I haven't heard back from my bf since I upset him yesterday and I want to see him for my b-day tomorrow SOOOOO bad!!!

Met someone who changed your life? yes

What song represents you? "All-American Girl" by Carrie Underwood

What were you doing 12 AM last night? Watching LMN movies waiting to fall asleep

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I hope my bf comes in town and texts' me back soon. I miss him and I hate I upset him yesterday and I wanna see him for my birthday!!!