Tuesday, August 16, 2011


I went to visit my boyfriend last night, drove 5 & 1/2 hrs each way, had a fabulous time or so I thought. I said I love you, he said I love you; then today we woke-up things were fine, we did his laundry, he held me and we watched tv and then he gets a call from his Aunt; we go back to watching tv, nothing seemed wrong. He had to go to work; I thought I'd stay one more night he said he thought it was best that I go on home b/c of his roommate and not knowning what he really thought of me staying there last night so didn't wanna surprise him with another night. So I left, then I texted him a few times, he finally texts me back on his break at work and says" "I'm going through some things right now and i think it's best if we don't see each other" WTF, really? Last night you tell me you love me and today you tell me on my 5 1/2 hr drive home, through text you don't think it's best if we see each other anymore?>???

What happened? What went wrong?? There's got to be more to this??? I'm not giving up, these have been the BEST 5 months, the ones with him. There's got to be a reason and I honestly don't think it's someone else I really think he's having issues.

I did text him and ask what was wrong, was it me, did I do something, is everything okay, was/IS there someone else???? I turned off my phone and haven't heard an answer as of the time I turned it off. PLEASE PLEASE pray for me and him and that he responds. I CAN:T move on or know what is going on till he tells me. If he honestly said yes he met someone else, it would actually make it easier b/c I could hate him, but nothing just doesn't help. 5 1/2 months, always great and we work out our fights, I was so blindsided by this.

Honestly I feel something really is going on with him and i don't think it involves another woman, I think it's family related and I pray that he sees and misses me the way I already miss him and it's only been 2 hrs. I know we always talk and I just didn't see this coming. I jsut wanna die right now, honestly that's how I feel. I would have rather him said there was someone else so that I could hate him. But I really again, don't think that's it, but is it me? is it our issues? is it my insecurities? What is it? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray I get my answers and my heart isn't totally broken again. PLease I so love this man and we've always talked about a future, marriage, heck he even proposed (I think jokingly though) once before, we've discussed marriage, kids, planning our future, I was again so blindsided.

YES I am posting this as I have been crying my eyes out for the last 2 + hrs so please excuse the spelling mistakes.

Pray for me please, I'm dying right noiw and again, pray I get an answer

1 comment:

  1. Darling this broke my heart to read - I am SO sorry this happened, and I know you will believe me when I say that I have been in your shoes, and the not knowing is the worst part. Hell, it has been an entire year since Toe left me after ten years of being together, and I still don't have an answer. My heart feels for you, and know that I am praying for you and will be here if you need anything at all. Please don't hesitate to email me if you need anything (trafficjelly (at) hotmail (dot) com)...I'll be thinking of you and stalking this blog to see if you are ok...Hang in there, doll. And do know this - you might feel like you want to die, but I promise you that you won't...It's gonna suck and hurt, and your insides will feel broken, but you will be ok...
    Thinking of you...