Monday, March 26, 2012

What's the Right and Wrong Decision?

Ever think am I really making the best decision?

That's me all the time lately, I wonder am I doing what's best for Millie? I mean when her Dad decided he did not want her it was heartbreaking, it was before I ever knew if it was a girl or boy, but what I did know is that this was a piece of me growing inside of me. It was hard to hear the words come out of his mouth, that he hated me for NOT going through with an abortion. Fast forward 4 months till today and I am trying with everything in my might to work things out for her sake with him. I want him to love her and be a part of her life, I can't force it but I want it so bad for her. Being a Daddy's girl my whole life it's hard to think she wont have that bond. It breaks my heart, but what I do know is I am making the BEST possible decisions for me and for her.

People may not agree with my choices, but trust me I am doing them all for her and to benefit her future. I met up with my ex this weekend and yes one of the first things he did was call me fat, if you know me and know I've lost a lot of weight and I've been struggling with the 16 I'd gained before pregnancy over the last year then you know this KILLED me. WTF, how can you call me fat, I'm 5 months pregnant with your daughter!!!

Anyways, I talked to him and tried, but at the end of the day, he has to choose for himself whether or not he wants to be a part of her life.

Please pray for me as I am truly struggling to make it someday's, it breaks my heart he doesn't want her. Kills me.


  1. Oh darling :( I SO wish you hadn't gone...

    Listen to this right: Millie WILL have a father. One that will love her and support her and be in her life through thick and thin. And it won't be him. You don't want someone like that in her life, and you both deserve much better. After he ha said that about you, I would have turned on my heel and gotten back in the car. Driven away, and never ONCE looked back.

    Mer, leave him behind. Truly :( I know how hard it is, as I have had issues doing the same. But you can't endure another second of his negativity.

    I'm here. Love to you, friend...xoxo

  2. You have to do what's right for you! If he can't be a part of that then it's his loss. Hang in there girl.